you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
