I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
