i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize