she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
BRING THE BAGELS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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