Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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