whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
