It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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