Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
