No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
