just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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