Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
