You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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