there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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