I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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