She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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