remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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