so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
