I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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