can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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