oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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