i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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