I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
smell my finger.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
