8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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