I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Randomize
