When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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