I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How's work?
Spinning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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