does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize