I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
