I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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