Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no, he came in my armpit
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize