I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
