addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize