I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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