Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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