she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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