your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
