We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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