official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
