On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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