All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize