she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
