yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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