tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize