Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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