So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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