ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just pee around me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
