Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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