That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
