yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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