Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
