I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
