my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
