brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Boobs speak an international language.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
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