He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
