remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
