I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
