you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
