I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
