Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
