I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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